Pivoting
Life involves a lot of pivoting. When I think of pivoting, the iconic scene from Friends comes to my mind. PIVOT! An awkward couch easily stuck in the twists and turns of a narrow stairwell while straining with difficulty to make your plan work. Life is a lot like that.
Going another direction (pun intended), in the dance world there’s a basic turn called a pivot. Using the balls of your feet, you change direction while staying mostly in the same place. The dancer points their foot outward and shifts their weight onto the ball of the foot that’s pointed out so they can swivel their body to face a new direction. It can be anything from a 180 degree change to a full 360.
While making sure my dance move description would be accurate (it’s been a few years since my childhood dance classes!), I was reminded that for any dance turn, proper spotting is essential. For any non-dancers out there, spotting helps a dancer prevent dizziness, maintain balance, and stay oriented through multiple turns - whether they’re fouettés, pirouettes, or our beloved pivots.
“When I think of pivoting, the iconic scene from Friends comes to my mind. PIVOT! An awkward couch easily stuck in the twists and turns of a narrow stairwell while straining with difficulty to make your plan work. Life is a lot like that.”
My actual point isn’t about dance moves or couches and little stairwells. My ADHD brain tends to pivot a lot. I like to call them side quests because I’m a giant nerd who’s married to an even bigger nerd. Sometimes I feel like Ross’ couch - stuck in a stairwell while people around me try to bolster me up, and other times I feel like the pivot dance move where I’m changing direction yet again while essentially standing in the same place I was before.
As you can see, I’ve thought WAY too much about pivoting. In doing so, it’s occurred to me repeatedly how valuable life pivots actually are. There are a lot of ways all of us need to pivot throughout life. Pivoting to find new friends, changing a college major, moving to a new place, developing new skills and hobbies, training for new jobs - the pivots life asks of us are endless!
That being said, pivoting is often tied to shame. As though needing to make a change of any kind causes the stench of failure to descend upon you. Pivoting shouldn’t be something to feel ashamed of, yet that’s often what happens. Changing direction is often connected to positive changes such as a new job, but sometimes it's also connected to something not working out as we hoped, whether it was a hobby, a job, or something else. As humans, we’re naturally full of ideas, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes we find out one of those things isn’t going as hoped, and we need to make a change. I’ve learned through my many pivots that they’re not always negative. It’s normal to go the direction we think is best at first, and sometimes we have to realize it wasn’t actually the best thing for us in the end.
“Changing direction is often connected to positive changes such as a new job, but sometimes it’s also connected to something not working out as we hoped, whether it was a hobby, a job, or something else.”
Another part of being human is having limitations, whether it’s our energy, health, time, or something else. Many cultures in this world treat limitations as something to be ashamed of. As though we’re all always supposed to be able to push through any limitation and always achieve the impossible no matter what our situation is. Everyone is expected to have a success story full of overcoming obstacles in a straight line to the planned victory. Sometimes obstacles aren’t meant to be moved. They’re a sign we need to change our direction a bit and…pivot.
Like a Pokémon trainer, I’ve wanted to catch them all - every hobby, skill, or type of knowledge I found interesting. What I didn't account for is that at some point the bag gets too heavy to carry, and I’ve had to decide what's worth keeping or manageable for me. The thing that weighs me down most isn't the collection itself - it's my own expectations of how much I felt I should carry. When I let go of the guilt and allow myself to set some things down, I feel much freer. Not everything we pick up in life needs to stay in our pack. Our lives should fit us comfortably, kind of like clothing. When something's too tight, we shouldn’t be ashamed of our size - we just need clothes that actually fit.
“Our lives should fit us comfortably, kind of like clothing. When something’s too tight, we shouldn’t be ashamed of our size - we just need clothes that actually fit.”
From a young age, I’ve always wanted to have my own small business. Throughout my youth I planned on being a full time artist, until adulthood slapped me in the face and the realities of making it as a fine artist felt too far out of reach. Enter ongoing health challenges, increased financial responsibilities, plus all the other things life likes to toss at us, and you could say I’ve pivoted my plans a whole bunch! Sometimes I wish I could go back to my young adult self and give her advice, but alas that’s a pipe dream. My basic interests have always been mostly the same - various forms of art, photography, writing, along with plenty of off-shoots from each of those over the years.
You’re now witnessing another pivot. I’ve stuck to sharing surface-level side quests all these years, whether through art or other projects - only things I’ve curated or highly edited. I’m going to try a direction I’ve wanted for a long time. It often felt too close to my heart to try. Too private. Too vulnerable. I’m setting those feelings aside gently and taking a leap of faith. I’ll continue with all my creative side quests of course, but now I’m pulling back the magician’s curtain. I hope you’ll join me as I share what I’ve learned so far in my messy life full of side quests.
